Love without Restraint

When doctors recommended physical restraints, heavy medication, and group home placement as a response to his son Ryan’s intense emotional outbursts, Rob DeLena ’87 decided to go in a different direction–specifically, down a ski slope.

“I hadn’t skied in 25 years, but during one challenging outburst, I put Ryan in the car and drove to a beginner hill,” DeLena said. By his second day of skiing, Ryan was executing advanced runs. The father and son began skiing together every weekend, first in New England and then around the world. “On each trip, I saw a different kid than everyone else, and my wife Mary Beth and I began to challenge the doctors and educators who were so certain about Ryan’s limited future,” said DeLena.

On a trip to Antarctica in 2018, DeLena and his son began writing what would eventually become their co-authored book Without Restraint: How Skiing Saved My Son’s Life, published in March 2023.

Today, Ryan is a well-known outdoorsman who is training to be a professional ski and rock-climbing guide. He’s also a college student at Northern Vermont University and has interned for Ice Axe Expeditions in the Svalbard Islands and in Antarctica.

“This book is truly a labor of adventure and heart,” said DeLena. “It’s a story for anyone who has felt misunderstood or constrained, and I hope it brings optimism to others.”